04// the paper kites - too late

I am definitely getting sick. I felt it coming when I tried to clear my throat after shoving a chocolate almond croissant down my throat during lunch. When it became pretty clear that it wasn't just the buttery pastry flakes that were clogging up my throat, I immediately took to the emergency supply of Airborne and throat drop I keep in my desk, but now that I'm sitting in bed at midnight, still with a sore throat, I do realize it is too late. TOO LATE. What more could I have done to prevent it? I wash my hands like a maniac almost every hour, I even wipe my phone down, and I try my best to never touch my face during the day. Ever. Plus I've been exercising almost everyday and trying to keep a good diet too. Thanks immune system. You had one job. ONE JOB!

Thanks to a lovely coworker, we took a quick lunch detour to the Columbus Circle holiday market to soak in the sun and a generous 50 degree weather before it gets completely dark again at like, 4pm. Did I mention New York has no chill when it comes to the holidays? There are holiday markets EVERYWHERE and it's pretty amazing.


Also, yes, I went to Times Square today. Why?! You might ask. WHY PUT YOURSELF THROUGH TIMES SQUARE OF ALL PLACES? AREN'T YOU LIVING THERE NOW? SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW BETTER? Yes, those are all valid questions that I've definitely asked myself as I dodged accidentally starring in the background of a group selfie while stuck in the crowd. I don't know. I've been feeling like I've been in a rut. Needed to do something and I work really close to Times Square. I like people watching, especially tourists, because they're usually really happy.

2015: I feel like I came to New York to grow up, be challenged and to pursue 'my dreams' yet it's so easy to get jaded and wrapped up in the usual challenges of transitions. This year was full of weird little beginnings and endings for me, and very few things felt stable or constant this year. In the midst of all that overwhelming whirlwind, I realize friendship is such a strange, perfect little thing that you can lean on. Whether they're old or new, the comfort, familiarity, moral support and honesty that they provide are truly an oasis. When you meet such kind people, even one or two, who want to invest their own time to understand and love you, you should know you are incredibly lucky.

03// absolutely no chill

I find New York most charming when I don't have any agenda. Yes, planning your day ahead is ideal, but sometimes you just don't, and you end up running into a lot of bulldogs and eat amazing food and somehow end up in the sea of tourists at the Rockefeller Center. This weekend, after walking around the Fifth Avenue and attempting to get near the Rockefeller tree, I learned that New York has absolutely no chill when it comes to the holidays. It's quite amazing.

Post-brunch ferry ride from Queens to the city (my first time! woohoo).

Then we headed down to Union Square for the farmers market + Strand (scored a signed copy of BJ Novak's book). Talk about being shoved around all night by an incredible number of PEOPLE. Holy moly. Again, Christmas time in New York has absolutely no chill.

02// blossom swing

Today's title is brought to you by Blossom Dearie's cover of The Surrey With The Fringe On Top. Her piano + vocal are absolutely perfect for such drizzly and misty early December days. Like, I feel like I need to go get whiskey and cigarette (two things I hate, because obviously I'm not cool enough) and head on over to a jazz bar or something whenever I listen to her.

Above: Law & Order is filming two blocks away from my office this week! I cannot confirm whether or not that man is related to the show in any way. It didn't seem like he wanted to be bothered much.

I went down to the meatpacking district after work today, hoping to score a pair of glasses I apparently now need (sigh). It's beautiful around the new Whitney, with glittery restaurants, fancy boutiques and cobblestone streets. Sometimes, New York's true beauty is only revealed at night.

Moving onto darker matters, gunmen opened fire at a holiday party in a social services office that helps people with developmental disabilities in California today. Soon after, we went through what has now become a morbid routine, again - Twitter blew up, news orgs reintroduced their charts and interactives on gun violence data in the U.S., the President said a few words, and we followed live streams and live tweets of the long hunt for the suspects. A new hashtag goes around, and we collectively voice how disgusted and sickened we are by all of this. I don't want this to be a pattern or a routine. I don't want to become numb to these kinds of events. While thinking about what we could do - I realized how helpless we are, but what we can do is love and hope and make positive changes - I know how cheesy I sound, plus it's easier said than done, but in the end, I firmly believe that love will prevail over hatred and evil. I really do.

01// ello, december

Oh my god where did 2015 go.

Crazy year! I've made some major decisions, like moving to New York for a new job and visiting Korea for the first time in 10 years. So many things happened, so many things were said, I've felt all kinds of things and turning 25 was incredibly bittersweet because frankly, I still feel like there is so much more to be said, to learn, to make and to do. And the weight of have-nots crushes me sometimes harder than others because time is so precious and I'm scared I'm not using it wisely. Maybe our strengths and beauty and flaws turn up in smaller decisions we make everyday. After that train of thought I decided I wanted to be more intentional in how I spend everyday, to break the routine and do tiny things that will someday make me a better person. Thus begins the december project, something I'm doing for myself that I hope will help me out of this weird slump (mid 20s crisis maybe?) I found myself in. The actual project itself is easy, like a) take photos everyday with my camera b) post them on this blog everyday for the entire month and c) really take time to look back at the year and soak everything in before I have to go live another one. It doesn't sound like a lot but I know it'll be a challenge, perhaps a good challenge to focus my mind somewhere in the midst of all these distractions.

Heeeere we go. Time is precious!

oldies but goodies from the summer

Joseph with Daisy

Just got like four rolls of film developed (one roll was from like, early last year!) - so I'll probably slowly start posting some more photos here. Here is Joey with his new bike early this summer. We took a ride on Daisy to Great Falls on Maryland side and it was ... seriously good for the soul. There's something about riding motorcycles and feeling the wind against your body, being aware of every movement of your vehicle and noticing stuff along the way that you never noticed before. I guess I sort of get the appeal of motorcycles now. I miss these peaceful rides out to the burbs, the easy access to abundant nature and peace.

Conquering Old Rag

I miss Virginia.
Back in August, the weekend before I left for New York, some friends and I took an annual camping trip to Shenandoah. The Old Rag hike was daunting but also incredible, so much so that it was definitely a punch in my guts before I permanently left DC (gasp. so weird to actually type that out). Somewhere in the middle of the challenging hike (and seriously disturbing the nature with all kinds of profanity) I had a brief moment of panic/regret about leaving a city with so many good people and an easy access to vast nature. It was like, shit. What do New Yorkers do anyway? Go to Central Park for a dose of nature? If I'm so obsessed with the nature, why am I even moving? Nonetheless, the 8 mile hike through rock scrambles and a rewarding BBQ dinner were a nice way to finish out the short chapter I had in DC (Maybe I'll return someday... who knows?). Ahh, these gorgeous valleys...I'll have to return sometime in the fall when the leaves go wild.

Bye bye. See you later, VA.